For the past two weeks i’ve been feelings really odd, bad really bad thoughts. This last saturday i went on a date with my SO, he looked really cute. The instability in my life has been affecting my relationships in an awful way, maybe it was all the stress i’m feeling. My head is a mess and i’ve left that messing up my life too, i just hate admitting that. Two week ago my uncle went to live alone, and it feels weird not having him home. It's not that i'm sad, it's just that he was a bit closer to me. He asked me to go live with him for a time since I've been isolating myself in the house. I said no because i don't want to bother him with my problems and "myself".
One of my dogs is getting worse with his dermatitis and i feel really bad since there is actually nothing i can do, medicine seems to work less than before. Bjartur, the youngest dog, has been really stressed because i don't take her out as usually. I worry that my emotional state is also affecting my dogs.
Mom says she is gonna make me a new room and a bigger garden than the actual one. I don't want a new room but i do want a bigger garden so my dogs can play and play with me in a bigger space. Maybe i will be able to practice some gardening.
Also mom want to go visit her father and i want to go but i don't want to left alone my dogs. It's very complicated since i can't go anywhere more than 3 days without feeling lonely and sad because i don't have them near me. I don't say this to anyone but i feel like that each time i go out.
Apart from all the bad things or stuff in my life there is also good stuff. My cousin seems to be doing alright in school, he was bullied weeks ago and i was really worried for him. I'm not saying he has already forgotten about it but i seems that he is now doing his things with his head up so i'm glad for him. I never liked violence in fact i just don't tolerate any kind of violence but when i heard that he had a problem with a bully i tho about really hurting that ass-bully. I really love my cousin, he is cool.
Oh! almost forgot this, my mom told me to start my treatment again. To be honest i was reluctant to that idea but i couldn't said no. I'm also going back to the gym but this is actually something i have to talk with my mom in a calm way. I used to go to the gym but thanks to my emotional instability i tend to drop out so i have to think this a bit more. I believe that going to the gym will help my emotional stability, i need to try it again.
I want to go out alone more often, i mean alone with my dogs. My pure family.
